The Consequences We Live With
by Blue Eyes At Night
Summary: Sequel to Choices We Live With Skate with Jack analysis... After getting out of prison, Sawyer and Kate want to see the baby they left behind...with Jack. RR


A/N- Well….never say never!

By request from a fabulous writer and friend of mine (Spidey!) suggested that I make this sequel to **Choices We Make** and so here it is!

Though this can be read separately, it makes so much more sense if you read its predecessor. It's post-island so be wary!

Another non-songfic (what's wrong with me? Lol!)

_This fic is Skate with Jack, just as its predecessor was… haters of either one prolly shouldn't read._

_PG 13_

**The Consequences We Live With**

It was bright and sunny when they signed her papers. Up for parole and considered to be recovering nicely. Maybe one day she could be fit for normal society.

Or so the parole board thought.

She knew she was going to have to check in with her parole officer soon, do the meet-and-greet of the Justice System…but she had to do something first.

-----

When the phone rang at 1:00 pm it woke Sawyer up. He was working the graveyard shift at a piece of shit auto shop and was a hired farmhand on the weekends.

Making a living was twice as hard when it was honest.

It wasn't that he didn't want to go back to the old ways, but the cops kept checking up on him. Making sure he was being a good boy. Or so they said but he knew better.

They were waiting for _her_ to call.

Probably tapping his phone.

"Hello?" His voice was gruff with the sleep still lingering in his system.

"Sawyer?" His heart stopped.

A million thoughts rushed through his head. He'd spent four years in jail and three more on parole for her. And he was lucky, damn lucky. They hadn't been able to get enough evidence for the punishment the prosecution had wanted. Plus the jury sympathized with the events surrounding his capture.

Knowing that a condition of his release was that he not see Kate, knowing that they were probably checking up on him, knowing it was jail-time if he broke their rules…

What did knowing it matter? He didn't care about it.

"I think you got the wrong number, _Freckles._ Ain't no Sawyer here." With that he hung up and sprinted out into his kitchen fasted then he'd ever run in his life. There he pulled out another phone and jammed the main phone line into it. He knew the chip that alerted the police was in the phone, the wires they hadn't been able to get to…

Here went nothing. Ramming the line into the virgin phone he pressed star-6-9 and listened to the ring.

Once…twice…

_Didn't she realize he knew her voice? Did she think he'd forgotten about her? Why wasn't she picking up?_

Third ring….fourth…

Then…

"Sawyer?"

"Howdy, Freckles." He sank onto the cold linoleum, his legs unable to carry the overwhelming relief he felt.

It had been far too long since he'd heard Kate's voice.

---

They met in a seedy out of the way bar. The kind of place that don't see the light of day. Miscreants from all over the planet congregated here to stew in the lowest levels of society with other people equally damned.

This is where Sawyer and Kate met again after ten long years.

She was sitting at the bar drinking Tennessee Black Label straight up. A couple of guys had tried to buy her a round but she shook them off. She was waiting for someone.

She knew the moment he entered the door. The winds changed and something deep inside of her went off. Sawyer was ingrained into her as powerfully as if he'd branded her, something connected them more intimately then anything else she knew. Her whole face lit up as he swaggered over to the bar and plopped down next to her.

"Barkeep, I'll have what she's having." Sawyer nodded to Kate and took off his heavy sunglasses. Underneath them his green eyes were sparkling, "Fancy seeing you here, Sassafras."

She couldn't help it, she lunged into his arms, hugging him tightly against her, trying to mold him to her body until they became inseparable. He inhaled the smell of her hair and grasped her as tightly as she did him. She wasn't the only one who'd been lonely.

Sawyer broke away and took her chin in his hand, moving it so that each side of her face was in the light. He was searching for new scars from an ugly existence in an ugly place, searching for something that marred her beauty.

The only thing he found was a new heaviness in her eyes, a new tightness in her smile.

Kate did a similar assessment of him before pulling him close, "Stop looking at me and kiss me."

And he did.

Instantly their drinks were forgotten…the world was forgotten and all the time that had passed melted away. And yet the painful sting of the long loneliness remained and before they knew it they were in a trashy motel tearing each other's clothes off.

Afterwards she lay in his arms, he was smoothing out her hair and she was tracing the scar over his heart from his bullet wound.

"Do they know you're with me?" He asked, breaking the spell of bliss.

"No…a condition of my release was that I-"

"Let me guess, never see me again? They tried to sell me the same load of shit." He smiled, "Good thing neither one of us is much for buying federal B-S."

"I never check in with my parole officer."

He looked square in her eyes, "They frown upon that."

"Does your's know where you are?" Kate's voice was quiet. It was always quiet when they talked about illegal things and he never quite figured out why. Maybe she was uncomfortable, maybe she was too comfortable, either way the same tone of forced humor and acquired wisdom stained this topic.

"I haven't seen mine for three years, but they see me all the time. I had to those cops twice, I even switched cars to come here."

She was silent before she nuzzled back into him, "I guess you can't teach old dogs new tricks."

"We ain't that old, Freckles."

"Ten years older." It was true. She was beginning to get that faded-rose glow to her, the kind of tarnished beauty that sets in after forty and Sawyer's blonde hair was loosing its brightness, tell-tale grays were in his mustache and beard. Her curves were softer then they'd been, the tightness of her twenties being replaced with the mellowness of her thirties. Sawyer's body was softer too. Not fat, not yet. But the tone he had once had was lost to him now.

They weren't the only things that had aged, and the unspoken party hung in the air like a thick fog.

It was a long, pregnant pause before Sawyer said, "They won't let you see him either, I suppose?"

"They said not to, yeah." Her voice nearly cracked, "Said he doesn't need that kind of trauma. But…I wouldn't dream of…"

Tears threatened to claim her.

"I just want to see him, Sawyer." The first tear fell and Sawyer kissed it, stroking her back to calm her, "I know, honey, believe me. I know."

"You haven't seen him?"

"No…I was waiting for you. I never lost faith that the day would come when you'd have me outrunning cops and switching license plates like I was thirty-five again." He smiled and looked at the clock, "Let's get some sleep, we got a big day tomorrow."

"What's tomorrow?" Kate settled herself next to Sawyer, the routine that prison had interrupted settling back as though it had never ended.

"Tomorrow we go see our son."

---

"In other news, Katherine Austin was let out on parole yesterday. Authorities report that Miss Austin was showing signs of progress and considered a premiere candidate for parole. However their story changed when she never checked in with her parole officer yesterday…"

"Oh, Kate." Jack Shepard stopped drinking his coffee mid-sip as he heard the news and put his mug down, shaking his head at the television sadly, "What are you doing now?"

"…Sources say that the police are checking up on James Ford, alias Sawyer, who was brought in with Austin when she was arrested. Mr. Ford has yet to be found having eluded authorities in his Tennessee home. You might recall their trial ten years ago where the couple were revealed to have been caught by police when Miss Austin was brought to the Emergency Room of Saint Sebastian's Hospital in Baltimore suffering from a bullet wound. She was pregnant at the time and…"

"Enough of that," Jack clicked off the T.V. and let out a breath he'd been holding for ten years, "What a way to start the day off…"

"Mornin' dad."

Jack looked up and affectionately mussed the hair of the ten year old boy who had come into the kitchen. The boy was wearing torn jeans and a Spiderman tee-shirt that had seen better days. His shoe laces were already coming untied and his dark curls fell into his green eyes. He'd need a haircut soon. As he reached into a cabinet to get a package of Pop Tarts a croak emitted from his jacket pocket.

"James, take the frog out of your pocket…he can't go to school with you."

The boy reluctantly reached into his pocket and pulled out a large bull frog to whom he hissed, "Traitor."

"Put him back in his tank and hurry down…I'll heat you up some waffles, okay?" Waffles seemed to brighten the prospect of school without his pet.

Jack watched his son as he disappeared up the stairs to his room. The room decorated in a farm motif, the kid had a thing for farms, animals, tractors…

Probably inherited from his parents, both small-town farm types.

As he reached into the freezer for the waffles and began to prepare them, a thought struck Jack. Kate and Sawyer were missing. That meant that they were together. That meant that…

That meant that they were coming to see their son.

Yes he knew it, in the bottom of his heart, in the pit of his stomach, that Kate and Sawyer were driving to Boston right now to find the baby they'd left behind all those years ago. Fear gripping him he wondered what they'd do. They wouldn't hurt him or James.

James. James Austin Shepard.

They had insisted on naming him James and Jack had given him the Austin so he'd have something from his mother. It had seemed like a good idea when he had held that tiny baby in his arms and decided to adopt it. Nothing seemed more natural then taking Kate and Sawyer's son into his home while they were in prison.

But now…now would they try to take him back?

"Dad?" Jack felt a tugging on his jacket and looked down to see his son. _His_ son. As far as he was concerned James was his son now, paternity be damned!

Jack swept James into a hug which the boy returned anxiously, saying "The waffles are done."

Setting the boy back onto his feet Jack said, "How would you like to stay home from school today, huh? We'll go to the park or a ballgame or…"

"The farm!"

"Yeah, the farm too." Jack put the plate of waffles in front of the boy and watched as he drowned them with enough syrup to make Mrs. Butterworth blush.

As he ate Jack made calls. He called work, he called the school…he had his fingers paused over the number for the police but he couldn't bring himself to push them.

He went into his room quickly and threw on jeans and an old tee-shirt, when he was back in the kitchen James had already finished his breakfast and was putting the plate in the sink.

All the memories flooded him. First word, first step, first day of school, first little girlfriend, first lost tooth, first Christmas, first time without training wheels…first little league game. First camping trip.

Why did it suddenly feel like he was loosing his son?

---

Sawyer and Kate drove straight through the night, making some stops and switching drivers, constantly changing license plates. They stayed off of the main roads and only ate at places that looked like they'd never remember two tumbleweeds blowing by.

Cops were out looking for them, of course, it was all over the news. But they were good at this game, damn good. And they played it with the expertise that years of practice gives you and no amount of retirement can take away.

They reached Boston in record time.

It wasn't hard to find Shepard, Jack in the local phone book and a cheap map at a gas station led them right to him. They didn't think he'd be home but his car was there. They parked a few houses down and sidled up, taking notice of every aspect of the house.

For instance, they noticed the baseball cleats on the front stoop and the swing set in the backyard. They say a tree house whose only discernable entrance was climbing up a tree that most children would balk at.

The went up to the door, and Kate took in a nervous breath. Sawyer looked around, "Should we knock or let ourselves in?"

Kate stared at the door as though it was telling her something, "He knows we're coming…where else would we go?"

That being said she reached out and knocked.

---

The knock threw Jack off. He was in the middle of ushering James to the front door when the knock sounded.

And he knew.

He knew who it was without opening the door, he knew who it was because his heart stopped and he prayed for a moment for it to just go away. Closing his eyes he prayed harder then he ever prayed…and when he opened them he saw James opening the front door.

"James, wait!"

But it was too late.

James opened the door to reveal two very familiar characters. Sawyer stared from Jack to the boy who'd opened the front door back to Jack; Kate's eyes never left her baby.

"Hi." She said her eyes tearing themselves away to meet Jack's, "Hi Jack…"

"What's up, Doc?" Sawyer's accent hung on the words and he put an arm around Kate, "Think we could come in a minute?"

James looked to his father for the signal of whether or not to open or close the door. Barely breathing Jack nodded. What else could he do?

As Kate and Sawyer stepped inside Kate fell right to her knees, "James?"

The boy nodded, his face revealing his confusion. Sawyer got down next to Kate and said, "He sure got big…didn't he get big?"

"I never got to see him." Kate choked up, tears coming to her eyes.

"James, go to your room for a minute." Jack's voice regained it's strength, "I'd like to have a word with our guests."

Briefly waving to the newcomers James went upstairs leaving three survivors staring at one another, silent as death. They hadn't seen each other in ten years…and really they had only reunited for that one hectic night of James' birth. The island was really the last time they'd seen each other.

It suddenly felt like they were back in the wild after all these years.

"I figured you would come." Jack said, "But you can't take him…you can't."

Sawyer held up his hands, "We don't want to take him, Jack. No intention of kidnapping him."

"We just…wanted to see him. I…it's all we want, Jack." Kate's eyes were fixed on the stairs that James had gone up.

Jack ran a hand through his hair, "Why? Why now? You had to break the law to come and see him? Why not just wait until your parole was up?"

Kate was still fixated on the stairs and didn't answer, Sawyer chimed in, "You think we _want_ to go back to jail, Doc? Think we didn't consider that we're breaking the law? Truth is if it was possible we _would've_ waited until the coast was clear 'til we came but it's part of our parole that we never see each other or him. Now that just ain't fair, and we weren't going to stand by it. Thus, here we are."

"They wouldn't let you see him?" Jack raised a wary eyebrow.

Kate shook her head, her eyes never wavering as she said, "They didn't think it would be a good idea…they said he was well adjusted and that we would only mess him up…We don't want to mess him up Jack."

She finally brought her eyes to his, "We made certain choices based on the situation we were in…and now we have to live with the consequences. We know we can never take him and have a happy family…we knew that before he was born. We knew that if I managed to make it past the birth without a doctor or a hospital that we would _always_ be on the run…_always_ be criminals who were hunted no matter how far away we went. We could never be the kind of parents we wanted to be…but the truth is that…"

As her tears came again Sawyer wrapped an arm around her, and continued in her stead, "We _wanted_ to give him the kinda life that you have…but we can't cause of what we've done. We have to live with the consequences of our actions, Jack, we know that. But we just…we love that boy. We loved him since before he was born and they took him away without even letting us say good-bye. We just want to see him."

"You came to see him even if you go back to jail?" It seemed ludicrous to the only law-abiding person in the room.

"If that's the consequence for seeing him…yes." Kate's voice was soft, her tears subsiding.

"_Hell_ yes." Sawyer said.

Jack considered this for a moment before he called down his son…and introduced him to his parents. When the police came Sawyer and Kate went quietly and Jack immediately took James to his mother's house before the media could devour him. The boy had taken the news well, Jack had told him years ago, when he had asked where his mother was, that he was adopted. The shock of meeting his birth parents was secondary to the thrill of seeing the two people that had made him.

"Your named for your daddy, you know." Kate had told him at one point.

"My name isn't Jack." The boy had replied.

His parents might have been slightly crest-fallen, but Jack beamed.

Love was a consequence of love, he suspected. Love had given them a child…and it had given Jack the opportunity to be the father he never had.

**Fin.**

A/N- Hmm….I liked it but I think the ending could've been stronger… but I'm loosing steam.

I tried to be poignant, I think I wound up rambling (or shall we call it Faulkner-esque stream of consciousness writing to make it sound better? Lol)

REVIEW please!


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